Piece(s):

Notes:
This is the video piece from my recent gallery installation at WorkSound. It’s a comedic stop-motion involving my other metal sculpture pieces. Enjoy.

Just a word from me to you.

Okay, so although I’ve only played bike polo once before, it has become a rather frequent topic around recently. I look forward to playing many rounds this summer and decided today that I should fabricate a mallet. As explained on Hardcourt Bike Polo’s site ( http://www.hardcourtbikepolo.com/?page_id=6 ) these is a very practical method of constructing a mallet with an old ski pole and some piping. This seems to be a pretty solid method.

However, I thought it would be nice to sport an all wooden mallet….for kicks.

So here it is.

2 hours later…..I named it Zarathustra. And if you get it (besides that it’s a novel character), then…well I want to make love on your face.

Anything else would be dangerous…..

My most recent online experience. I’ve been steadily partaking in the conversations and activities of pdxfixed.com (local Fixed Gear and Single Speed community), and decided to help out with a sweet little customized google map.

Hooray for nudity!

I got my work installed in the gallery space last night.

Don’t forget!

“Intensions” at Worksound
SE 9th and Alder
Friday, April 4th
6pm Opening

What?

Worksound present a gallery of video and sculpture accompanied by music.
(Come check out dabblings in both and have a great SE time)

When?

Opening - Friday 4/4/2008, 6pm

Who?

Artists: Max Kirchoff (Max is NOW!), Allan Bailey, Misia Pitkin, Shannon McClure, April Dawn, Ryan Dunn, Cain Hendricks, Celso, and sound installation by Phillip Kruse & Alex Smith

Opening Night Music: Better Home and Gardens, Da’rel Junior, and Shaped Like Sharks

I’ll buy you a beer for every friend you bring! maybe.

I don’t normally blog about stuff like this, but I saw the news items and almost threw up on my computer (which is rare on Wednesdays).

Now I’m not the most reverent guy on the block, as a matter of fact I think I made some joke about my own mother’s vagina not 10 minutes ago. Seriously though, the merchandising of Kurt Cobain is getting almost ridiculous. The new Kurt Cobain Signature Converse are just spitting on the dead rocker’s “last wishes” (If you want to call them that). Not only are they using his name to sell their shit product, but they are also “honoring” him by printing some of his writings on it. Oh, the world is so wonderful. I understand the fact that he smoked a shotgun shell quite a while ago, but do you think you could just leave his music, art, and writings out of your “anniversary celebration” with this “signature” marketing attempt.

Try finding a LIVING musician who doesn’t mind whoring himself out. I’m all for good marketing, but this isn’t it. Especially when you’re going to use such a tired idea as “Signature” collection shoes. Or just try coming up with a better marketing campaign. Over-payed hacks….

Just back off the merchandising an inch. Unless, of course you want to go full-bore and just exhume him to “feature” for the next Nike BodyWorlds exhibit. I’m sure that psychotic “curator” who lacquers the bodies could even get him in a classic Kurt pose with a needle still in his arm. Blah blah blah.

I am glad to see that Converse/Nike has no problem turning a troubled man’s life and death into their gain.
Also, peek the next Nike signature collection I got a sneak preview of:

The Ghandi Signature Trainers
Featuring some of his favorite things.

*Please note that Peggy Kirchoff is a wonderful mother and woman. Any jokes made about her reproductive organs are intended for humor purposes only. (And Mom I didn’t really make a joke about your vagina, I just needed to insure everyone that I’m normally pretty irreverent. I love you too. I’ll call you this weekend.)

Giving my most recent findings in the pursuit of the perfect messenger bag (now the perfect backpack), I felt the need to enlist an active backpack for service.

Introducing FRANKY (short for Frankenstein), my first manifestation of backpackness.

(see slideshow below & please note my friggin sweet new Mark “The Gonz” Gonzales kicks.)

FRANKY is a mash-up of a large Parcel tote I’ve had for some time and a few modifications I added, including shoulder straps, thus dubbing him a “backpack”. After studying the needs I had, both for wear and for function, I realized that my best bet would be to try out design by adapting a rugged graduate from my bag collection. In FRANKY’s previous life, he lugged photography equipment, raw metals, tools, clothes, and went on many desert adventures. This made him the perfect fit for my experiment. Add a couple custom-made shoulderstraps, a sternum strap, some more add-ons, and we have my first backpack DIY creation.

For my next bag I will venture into a solid construction from raw fabric. But this will require a pattern. I have found some inspiration at http://lemolobags.wordpress.com, but obviously don’t want to rip off his design. I just thought it was good to study the techniques of a more advanced back maker. I will continue to study the design of others and the functionality in my own FRANKY.

Until then, I hope FRANKY holds his own.

Yea, I know. I’ve heard it all my life. Backpacks on gay*.

Well, all I can say is that if backpacks are gay* then you’ll see me at the next pride parade. Why Max?! Why do you love backpacks now? Why are you so…..well, backpacky now?

I’ll tell you why. It all started with my pursuit of the perfect messenger bag. As you can see in my previous projects, I’ve been researching and reading and drawing and wearing myself half to death to find a great fitting, great wearing, weather-all messenger bag to make my life wonderful. Well, I found the perfect messenger bag…and sorry folks, but it’s a backpack. With every incarnation of my messenger bag pattern, shaping into perfection, I stepped ever so closer to the world of backpacks. Although I didn’t even see this until now.

It was last week. I had to help Genevieve take some books down to Powells and a bundles of clothes over to Buffalo Exchange. She had packed up the books in an old backpack, and although I felt silly wearing it, I knew I didn’t want to throw the thirty pound bag on her back. But this is when I realized it. As I donned the book-filled backpack, I realized it felt like half the wieght of my messenger bag, although it was holding four times as much stuff. The backpack made as easy ride and walk to the bookstore, and I suffered nothing in back strain.

That was the last straw for me…. backpacks from now on. Gay* or not, they kick ass.

Things backpacks do better:

• Dual Straps (symmetrical weight distribution - more natural)
• OVER Shoulder Carrying (keeps weight above back, not slacking under shoulders)
• Parallel Content (instead of diagonally bisecting the back, it parallels allowing more space in bag design)
• Harness Simulation (usage of the sternum strap, simulates extreme sports similar to the early effects of Mountain Dew)
  

  *Note: DO NOT wear sternum strap and drink Mountain Dew simultaneously. You WILL uncontrollably gel your hair and wear boardshorts everywhere.

• Hipster Hyperbolic Statement (Since backpacks are the standard, then messenger bags are the subversive method of baggage. However, since Hipsters are now the standard, then the truly subversive Hipster method of baggage would be the original non-Hipster standard, the backpack. It all makes sense once you watch season 3 of the hit TV Show Sliders)

*Please see Nick Swardson on using the term “gay”