Max is NOW!

With Halloween approaching in three days, I thought I could help some of you less sexually fortunate people enjoy the holiday. Everybody talks about Halloween as a fun, costumed night of candy collecting and scary stories. But the truth is obvious. Halloween is just another holiday to try and look cool enough to get a momentary “upgrade” in your style or just get drunk enough to “downgrade” your standards.

So here’s my assistance. A beautiful list of the Top “Get You Laid” Costumes of 2008. Hopefully I can provide assistance to those less fortunate.

Max’s Top “Get You Laid” Halloween Costumes, 2008!

The Dow Jones
The US Economy is hot talk right now. This costume will at least make it look like you read. And help you score some “educated” poon. Steer towards the privateschool kids or anyone who looks like they read the New York Times because “it’s just got better writing.”



Paint Huffer
C’mon. Easy and affordable. And if you do it right, it will get you high on paint fumes. The ladies in the room will be sparking memories of Darby Crash and other highly unstable alt dudes. Nothing is hotter than a dude with no regard for his personal health.

Charlie from “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia”
Because Charlie kicks ass. And the best way to get laid is to pretend to be someone else who is cooler than yourself. Besides, Charlie is a solid bet. Women who watch TV will know who he is and credit your social association; Women who don’t watch TV will just think you’re some badass “I don’t give a fuck dude” (which they are probably attracted to since they don’t even watch TV).


Lady Giving Birth
Because a woman sees nothing better in a man than his ability to make light of the birthing process. Be warned, this may attract a Baby-Addict or other nefariously slutty girls.

Male Ballet Dancer
Don’t ask, just listen. Guaranteed play.

Angelina Jolie
She continues to be the #1 woman that other straight women would hook up with. So if you can pull off the corset, wig, panties, and heavy waxing….go for it.