“I would move to Portland, but I just can’t leave the beautiful weather in Los Angeles.”
This sentiment, and statement, is right up in there with the Top 5 Stupid Things that People Say about Portland. People say it constantly, and it is readily verified by Portlanders all the time. It’s pretty funny though, to think [...]

Lizard men work in my office.
How do I know? Well I’ve never seen them here. However the office bathroom regularly smells like a mixture of sulfuric acid and hippo sex. Yea it’s gross, vomit-inducing, and empircal proof that lizard men work in my office. This explains so much as well. Everything from the stolen refrigerator [...]

I’m sick and tired of all these effing fixie kids. “We wanna ride bikes, save the planet, and get laid!” Boo-hoo, you little hipper hippies. Who told you kids you could have your own fashion and style?! Not to mention your lack of brakes….
Which is why we’re here today everyone. Apparently some millitant bike activist [...]

Wait wait wait. Before I type another word, I should really clarify something overlooked in this whole Portland-internet flame war about the recent WebTrends shennanigans. (also see this Webtrends page)
Every single internet troll involved in this is obviously a serious amateur…bantering on and on about how all the cyclists aren’t doing their part and need [...]

There seems to be a common misunderstanding with older bicycles.
Most old, rusty bikes ARE old, rusty bikes.
Not vintage nor classic nor retro nor collectible.
You know those bikes that Walmart sells for real cheap? Imagine buying one of those in 40 years for twice its original price and calling it a “classic” or a “vintage” bike.
Sounds [...]

Although I am personally confused with why a large PepsiCo brand would make a move into a design identity between mid-90’s video game packaging and local reprographics ad posters, I do quite enjoy the blur usage. I really hope blur is coming back into major design.
But who am I.

Imagine that….an Olympic 8x gold medalist who smokes pot.
OH THE HUMANITY!!
We’ve got dudes make billions on other American’s losing their homes, jobs, investiments….people dying because they can’t pay their heating bills….kids going without lunches in America…..and everyone is upset that an athlete smoked pot?
“What a BAD example Mr Phelps!”….oh please… The guy’s worked harder winning [...]

So, I hate FEDEX.
Yea. Yep. Pretty much. Seriously.
Despite the fact that I rarely send packages throughout the domestic US and even less frequently to the rest of the world, I can say FEDEX sucks.
“But Why Max? Why are they the shit-nuggets you say?!” You may ask.
Well, I’ll tell you. They have crossed me, now more [...]

Only in America does it take a diesel truck and hydraulic lift to do the same thing a ladder can accomplish.

Those familiar with the performance cycling world, have probably heard stories about the Spinergy Rev-X wheels. Basically they could explode. While I’m not absolutley positive if this was just an engineering or production mistake, it happened. More than once.
Well, introducing a potentially new exploding wheel! The HPlusSons rims have been egenrataing HUGE internet interest, [...]

The only thing worse than bad musicians is bad musicians singing songs about web technology.
Here they is, please enjoy:

Wordpress Theme Song
Drupal Theme Song (*My favorite of the songs, however least of the web technologies*)
Gmail Theme Song (For some reason set in Second Life…do they have the internet in internet games?)
Google Theme Song
Ebay Theme Song (Apparently [...]

Photo by Samscam.co.uk © 2008

On my way into work today on the beautiful Portland TriMet system, I was flipping through recent news headlines on my phone. Plenty of stuff about Obama, a little about some international affairs, and a real barrel of shit in the Technology section.
Link: AT&T may limit Web subscribers’ data [...]

Link: Joe McCain Call 911 for “bad” traffic (watch the vid, hilarious.)

In the true spirit of Chris Farley (see Black Sheep), Joe McCain has further shamed the McCain campaign. I love when people on the fridnges of the lime light make complete assholes of themselves. It makes me feel like my life ain’t so rough.
God. [...]

Below is a nice little photo of the mess made by R&H Construction. It’s a small street that happens to be on my commute to work. The gracious construction workers at the jobsite, being the wonderful lemmings they are, created that mess with full loaded dirt trucks and the circling water truck. Of course, anyone [...]