I don’t normally blog about stuff like this, but I saw the news items and almost threw up on my computer (which is rare on Wednesdays).
Now I’m not the most reverent guy on the block, as a matter of fact I think I made some joke about my own mother’s vagina not 10 minutes ago. Seriously though, the merchandising of Kurt Cobain is getting almost ridiculous. The new Kurt Cobain Signature Converse are just spitting on the dead rocker’s “last wishes” (If you want to call them that). Not only are they using his name to sell their shit product, but they are also “honoring” him by printing some of his writings on it. Oh, the world is so wonderful. I understand the fact that he smoked a shotgun shell quite a while ago, but do you think you could just leave his music, art, and writings out of your “anniversary celebration” with this “signature” marketing attempt.
Try finding a LIVING musician who doesn’t mind whoring himself out. I’m all for good marketing, but this isn’t it. Especially when you’re going to use such a tired idea as “Signature” collection shoes. Or just try coming up with a better marketing campaign. Over-payed hacks….
Just back off the merchandising an inch. Unless, of course you want to go full-bore and just exhume him to “feature” for the next Nike BodyWorlds exhibit. I’m sure that psychotic “curator” who lacquers the bodies could even get him in a classic Kurt pose with a needle still in his arm. Blah blah blah.
I am glad to see that Converse/Nike has no problem turning a troubled man’s life and death into their gain.
Also, peek the next Nike signature collection I got a sneak preview of:
The Ghandi Signature Trainers Featuring some of his favorite things.
*Please note that Peggy Kirchoff is a wonderful mother and woman. Any jokes made about her reproductive organs are intended for humor purposes only. (And Mom I didn’t really make a joke about your vagina, I just needed to insure everyone that I’m normally pretty irreverent. I love you too. I’ll call you this weekend.)
Notes:
A little something I put together for my messenger bag making. I actually just got the idea from the photos Jon shot of me earlier today. It’s bits and pieces from video I had taken months ago, photos of me by Jon, and photos I shot of the new bag today.
I felt like we needed to straighten out some “kinks” that have been binding up our relationship recently. I know you say you’re “losing” money to online copyright infringement (torrents, illegal streaming video, p2p), but it’s just not true. You can’t lose money that doesn’t exist. Did I say I was “losing” money when wiki(Borat) released and all of my slavic characters I do stopped being funny? No. Why? Well, because no one was going to ever pay me to hear them. And the same goes for online copyright infringement. People don’t download videos and music because they want to pay for it, but find the allure of searching and downloading for hours fun. They don’t buy your stuff, because well, it really sucks recently. I mean even the Church of Scientology shows their crappy productions for free, however you wanted us to pay to see wiki(Oceans 13). C’mon. That’s why I think I have a resolution that doesn’t require you arresting anymore of these young radicals who are providing your poor content for nothing. How about you make something good for a change? It works, trust me. I bought the new Radiohead album, and it’s like one of a dozen albums I will actually buy this year. You know why? Because it doesn’t suck. That’s right, and you know how hard the Radiohead album is to find for free download? Pretty damn hard. It’s because people want to give money to things they like, but not to things they don’t.
So, let’s make a deal. You come out with some quality films and music. Maybe stop with the remakes and the sequels. How about a new Charlie Kaufman film and an album from someone like MF Doom, and I will go out and buy them. Then, once we both know we can trust each other again, we’ll do it more and more. You keep making things we want to watch and listen to, and we will actually BUY them. It sounds like a favorable deal for everyone. So good luck and I’ll look for something in the papers.
Much love,
Max
p.s. If you release Ocean’s 14, any remakes, or some kind of Borat squel, all bets are off.
Is this album INCREDIBLE!?
So let me start by referencing a conversation Aaron Sweet and I had the other day. You see I said something like, “What if this Radiohead album sucks?” Then after a few quick jabs back and forth, Aaron and I made a realization… Radiohead can’t suck. They also can’t be great, or uninspired or totally different….it can just be Radiohead. (Not that Radiohead isn’t great)
Now, I’m not trying to push my musical opinions because I don’t mean the new album HAS “to be” anything. It’s just that when you get to a certain level of music-making, like the later Beatles or the reworked Kraftwerk, your music just IS.
So, before I get on the bandwagon of reports to come about their brilliance or dullness, let me break it down a little. The new Radiohead album CAN’T be incredible, because we saw that coming, and it can’t be terrible, because, well, it can’t. In Rainbows CAN only be Radiohead. This album WILL affect the music world, and only in a way that Radiohead does. Among the musicians and the music critics, but also among the every day and the average. The music world changes today.
“…the entire record industry is so fucked!”
Now while the music on the album itself will sculpt, so will they way they have distributed it. Will it bring the collapse of the record industry? Doubtful. “Why not Max?” you’re probably asking yourself. Well, for two very big reasons.
Radiohead is huge
They have a very dedicated fan base, and most radio stations that play rock will have to buy it themselves as well. Small to medium bands cannot expect this type of commitment and amount of listeners doing non-promo releases. Look at Jimmy Eat World. If Dreamworks hadn’t picked up “Bleed American” would it have gone platinum? Probably not. Dreamworks pumped cash into that promotion. And so, is every garage band shifting to this Radiohead inspired method going to change much? Probably not. Bands of this caliber rarely take it upon themselves, look at Metallica. Just like their music, they seen a bit too pensive and intolerant to do something like this.
People Love $$$
We live in a marketing hyper-reality. While Radiohead method here was to really cut out the middle man, the middle man will find a way to even use this very method to make money. Look at “green friendly” businesses and “veg friendly” restaurants. They aren’t doing it because they care about you, they’re doing it because it pays.
But What About the Album?! It’s pretty good, but honestly are you surprised? Did you think it wouldn’t be? That’s like expecting Dane Cook not to yell or being caught off guard when Ryan Seacrest finally comes out of the closet. (It’s not a metro-femme joke, he really IS gay, I have sources)
Will I say anymore about the details of the album? No, I’m not a music reviewer, I’m just a bystander. Have a good listen though.
